Sometimes it’s fun to rediscover your past, and sometimes it’s heartbreaking.
A Bookless Bookworm
I’m not moving until next month, but I started packing months ago. It was a brilliant move that sadly left me without certain comforts. One such comfort has been my library. I packed all my books – except the sewing ones – into storage, where they’ve been all summer.
As a city girl, taking public transportation requires certain tools. Headphones to block out unwanted conversation, sunglasses to avoid eye contact, and a book to keep me busy during the journey. (It sounds so unfriendly written down, geesh!) Anyway, without my library I’ve been scrambling.
On the train last night, I decided to ‘read’ one of my earliest sketchbooks. It started in 2001, when I was still in college. Now, designing clothes has long been a dream of mine, but I didn’t realize how long until I cracked this baby open. Apparently, I’ve had this dream since even before I bought my first sewing machine in 2006. And I wasn’t inspired by the nearly 100 pounds I gained from 1999-2002 — designing clothes is simply something I wanted to do.
Discovering this made me really sad, to be completely honest. I was sad that I had the business ideas, the designs, the understanding of fabric (!), the knack for color, the awareness of body shape and fit, and the mathematical and technical foundation for patternmaking way back then, and did nothing with it.
Better Late Than Never
Fifteen years later, am I any closer to starting my clothing line? Sad to say, no. This year, I committed to being a better sewing blogger and more strongly body positive, even though my heart beat most strongly to start a clothing line. I’m proud of the blog improvements I’ve made, both in the visual and writing quality areas, but I’m sad and disappointed that I’ve let my own dream languish for a decade and a half.
Will I stop writing Making the Flame? NO. But if you see something called Raaw Atalanta pop up on here, don’t be alarmed. It’s just my dream finally getting it’s time in the sun.
Talk To Me!
I’d love to hear about your deferred dreams. Do you think you’ll get back to them? Do you still want to achieve them?