What makes you different?
I was trying to dream up some witty blog content and was coming up dry when this question came to me: ‘Ebi, what makes you different?’
My knee jerk reaction was to sputter, ‘I just am!’ but even I knew that was not an answer. Then I realized that the question was itself a great blog post, and something I want to know about you, as much as about me.
Here, I’ll go first.
Let’s start with the physical – what is different about me is my size. I feel like King Kong among women. I’m tall: when I walk into a room, people look. When I walk into a room wearing 3″ heels, they openly stare. I’m also big: definitely from the front, whoa Nellie from the side, and dayummm from the back.
These are things I don’t have a ton of control over. I could lose weight, but nothing would change – I’d be the same height, with the same long arms and legs, and my hips, thighs, and butt would still command attention. (Praise be, haha.)
But there are things I do have control over, that also set me apart. I don’t wear makeup or jewelry, I don’t paint my nails, I don’t carry a purse, and I’m always wearing sneakers. I do my hair as plainly and infrequently as possible. These are conscious decisions – that I can change at any time – but right now, that I continue to make them, makes me different.
I’m a large and a bit dishevelled looking. What else?
Well, I’m a body positive sewing blogger, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what that means. What do you think of when you hear body positivity, or body positive sewing? What do you expect to see on a body positive sewing blog?
Personally, I came to body positivity when my body- and self-hatred reached a tipping point – I literally got tired of hating myself. I decided that not hating myself (not loving or liking myself, mind you, just not hating myself) was probably less exhausting, and so I was going to give it a whirl. I was 23 or so then. I’ll be 35 this year. It’s been a long journey, and I’m sure I’ve got a ways to go yet. But the point is, ‘body positivity’ would have a different definition depending on when you asked me.
And now we’re back to the word ‘different’. Maybe body positivity, and body positive sewing, are simply different. Maybe we’re just trying out something else, something alternative to what we know, to see if we like it. Maybe we’re A/B testing our self-image and relationship with our body. Maybe that means that different things will be ‘positive’ for each of us. Is that okay?
When I was in 7th grade, our vice principal closed out the morning announcements the same way every morning. “We are all different, and different is good.” I admit to being a brat towards him then, but his words have stayed with me for over twenty years, and now I hope they’ll stay with you. I’m not sure why I wrote this post – I have a million new garments I could show you, videos and vlogs I want to make for you, and tips I want to share with you – but here it is. Body positive sewing is different, and different is good.
Now it’s your turn! :)
Share your differences in the comments below – they don’t have to be physical, or body positive (if you’re not ready for it, don’t force it!) – they don’t even have to be sewing related. Let’s just talk. It’s not Saturday, but let’s muse together anyway.